Friday, September 17, 2010

BOC Week 10: Lawyer Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die. www.funnyhumor.com

Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. www.funnyhumor.com

Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
A: Retired. www.funnyhumor.com

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever. www.funnyhumor.com

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print. www.funnyhumor.com

What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?
Who cares? www.corsinet.com

What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers?
Law-suits. www.corsinet.com

What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A doberman. www.corsinet.com

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion. www.corsinet.com

Why do lawyers wear tight ties?
So their foreskin doesn't creep up and cover their face. www.gigaflop.demon.co.uk

What's the difference between a dead lawyer on a street and a dead dog on the street?
There are skid marks in front of the dog. www.gigaflop.demon.co.uk

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off it's head. www.gigaflop.demon.co.uk

What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect. www.gigaflop.demon.co.uk

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